*laughs long and hard*

Ho boy! How de hell did ve get ourselves into dis vun?

Vell efferybody, heff fon embarrassink hyuselfs on live radio. Hy iz gun sit beck und vatch de eediocy. *chuckles some more* Hy bet de Captain chust loffs dis ( Read more... )

HOY! Dimo! Vhy din't hyu tell me hyu gots beaten op by a leedle gorl? All dis time Hy iz so rough vit hyu, bot from now on Hy should be more careful. Hyu iz so breakable!

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT! Efferybody be'z gentle vit Dimo, hokay?

*muffled snickering is heard right before the recording cuts out*

*snorts with laughter* Dimo, vhy de hell hyu gots a dress und a bonch of vimmen's jewelry all hidden avay in dot chest? Dere zumtink hyu ain't tellink me?

[ooc: This is WAY backdated to just before the interrogations and all that Doma poisoning stuff.]

Vait chust a Gottdamned minute! Vot iz all dis scheisse about licensing und registration fees for demi-humans? Ennybody tries to get me to pay fees iz gonna find dere town burned down. Vhere de hell did dey get de idea dot ve iz terrorists?! De forst person dot accuses me of beink a terrorist iz gonna get dere head removed! Vot dey gonna tax us for ( Read more... )

Hoy! Hyu guys vot loff fightink! Come meet me on de deck for zum sparring. Dere iz prizes for de pipple dot aktually beat me! Becoz it ain't gonna happen zo dot mean Hy gets to keep efferyting. *snicker*

...

No, really. Hy vent und bought zum shtuff. Booze, food, fun souvenirs if hyu likes dot kinda ting...

My first master created me to protect him and his empire. It was my job to defend against any army, any assassin, and any "bringer-of-the-peace" looking to overthrow him. I never failed. Well, I failed once but that was a totally different situation and I fix everything in the end ( Read more... )